By Kim Williamson

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Price: $35

 "Wonderful family fun!"

Length: 100 Minutes
Cast: Mixed male / female with multiple doubling possible. 15 Actors minumum to play 33 roles.
Genre: Pantomime style Comedy
Audience: Children and families

About the Play: In this wacky pantomime our hero Hans is trying to help his mother pay the unfair rent they owe to the LANDLORD, a "dastardly" Lillian. The cruel LANDLORD, with the help and hindrance of his crazy off-siders, tries all sorts of mean tricks to get the money. Finally with the help of the plays other wonderful characters he realises his error and changes his evil ways.
This is a fun play for the whole family, and includes some well-known stories from Andersen, including The Ugly Duckling and The Emperors New Clothes.

About the Playwright: Kim Williamson is a professional playwright and director for the stage. Her plays for young actors have proven to be very popular and have been sold throughout the USA, Canada, UK and Australia.

Characters...

Landlord
Soldier  
Boy2 
Barman
Duck 2
Mother  
Teddy  
Rat 1 
Tailor 
Boar
Hans 
Monkey  
Rat 2 
Minister
Goat
Dame 
Jack-in-the-box 
Fisherman
Treasurer
Owl
Come-Here 
China doll 
Cook 
Child 
Gecko
Go-There 
Ballerina 
Child 1 
Soldier 
Children x3
Clara 
Boy1  
Child 2 
Duck 1 
Ugly Duck

Sample from the script...

Act One: Scene Three

SCENE 3
Landlord
A check in the mail, he says. Hmmm, it had better be there....wait a minute...what is a check?(stops) Aye? I’ve been tricked! Right, two can play at that game. You may have bitten off more than you can chew, Mr Andersen. Come-Here! Go-There! Where are you two? For goodness sake! Come here at once!

Come-Here 
Here I am, your evilness. What plots do you have for us, your indispensable dealers of all things bad?

Landlord
The day you two become indispensable to me, is the day that I become an honest citizen. Now where is that idiot Go-There?

Come-Here 
I’ll get him, shall I? (yells) GO!!!!! THE BOSS WANTS YA!!!

Landlord
(sarcastic) Thank you, Come-here. I could have done that myself.

Come-Here 
But I saved you the trouble - you see, indispensable.

Landlord
Is that todays word-of-the-day, or something?

Come-Here 
It is actually, do you like it?(Go-There enters)

Landlord
Ah, you’re here at last. Where were you? I called ages ago.

Go-There 
You said ‘Come-Here at once’

Landlord
So why didn’t you?

Go-There 
Because I’m Go-There.

Landlord
What?

Go-There 
And you said Come-Here.

Landlord
I said Come here!

Go-There 
Exactly. And I’m Go-There.

Come-Here 
I think the problem here....

Go-There 
Go-There, y’see, not Come-Here.

Come-Here 
...is that you, Sir, said Come here....

Go-There 
He’s Come-Here.

Come-Here 
C-o-m-e-H-e-r-e. Come-here.....

Go-There 
And I’m Go-There.

Come-Here 
But he thought you meant Come-here.

Go-There 
See? Go-There. Me.

Come-Here 
C-o-m-e H-e-r-e. (pause) Me. (both smile at each other, satisfied)

Landlord
(stunned) What??

Come-Here & Go-There
He’s Come-Here....he’s Go-There...your mistake (etc)

Landlord
Stop! Enough of this.....distraction! (calms) Now, I have a job for you two dimwits.

Come-Here 
(to Go-There) Indispensable, see?

Landlord
Will you be quiet! Now, that Andersen boy...

Go-There 
He tells some great stories.

Come-Here 
Did you hear the one he told the other night at the inn?

Go-There 
About the soldier?

Come-Here 
Lovely story that.

Go-There 
That boy’s got talons.

Come-Here 
I think you mean talent.

Go-There 
Yeah, he’ll go far. Make his Mum proud.

Come-Here 
Nice lady.

Landlord
Will you two babbling brooks shut your traps for a moment. Andersen is trying to swindle me - trick me out of my money. I won’t have it.

Go-There 
No, you won’t if he has tricked you out of it. Horrible kid.

Come-Here 
Never liked him. And as for his mother.....

Landlord
(glares at him) So I want you to ‘deal with him’ if you know what I mean.

Go-There 
What, kill him?

Landlord
Good grief, no! Just...y’know, rough him up a bit. Threaten him. That sort of thing. Y’know, the stuff ruffians like you do. Now go.

Go-There 
Yes?

Landlord
Go!

Go-There 
Yes?

Landlord
Come on! Go!

Go-There 
Yes?

Come-Here 
Yes?

Landlord
For goodness sake! Who gave you two such ridiculous names?

Go-There 
Our dear departed Mother.

Come-Here 
She had a bad memory, and being as we are identical twins, it seemed an easy solution to a complex problem.

Go-There 
She said she never knew if she was coming or going. (both laugh) Coming or going, get it?

Come-Here 
Coming or going! We had some laughs, didn’t we? (pause)

Landlord
Right. Anyway, you know what you have to do, so off you....just leave.

Go-There 
Come on.

Come-Here 
Let’s go. (they exit)

Landlord
So, Mr Andersen, you think you’re so smart? You’ll never get the better of me. Because I’m one step ahead of you, hehehe. (exit)

...the script continues

Coming soon.